When Change Happen…but is Not What I Wanted!

As dual citizen I witnessed the American Election Day and today I received the ballot for a very important Italian Referendum about our Constitution Changes to made.

Despite one fact being done and the other yet to do, both of them have triggered my curiosity.

What happen when change is at work… but the results are not what expected? How do we face with not wanted changes? Denying it? Protesting? (and to who and for what?). Pretending nothing happened it’s allowed? Or just we get caught in depression and dark thought? Blaming others? Whining all day long?

We believe that change is ours breathe, it just goes on and on. There is no need to think about it or, worse, to avoid it.

However, like on these days to me, change seems going a little further: toward sides I don’t like and I won’t. Of course the change running in a political arena is not the same of the one you have to ride on your life.

But how we can transform these very common attitudes in a positive and more useful way? Oh that’s very interesting thing to coach around!

Collecting facts around the change. Refuse the odd analysis. Change your glasses: what did not you see? What other people will describe it? What do they say to explain themselves? Try to walk in their shoes can help.

Working on your emotions. How do you feel? How do you show these feeling? Accepting all dark and depressing emotion can help too.

For sure one last work we need to cope with: how you deal with impotence? How stay in a cage like an animal on the zoo, without losing your soul? How you restore your energy to fuel hope?

That’s remind me of the way Clowns are used to cope with failure. Playing it again and again until poetry, irony and imagination combined together will make you and your audience crying with no knowledge about the reason.

Of course, that’s not very easy to do so! 

Not to change is not an option!

   “Nothing is more real than the masks we make to show each other who we are.”  Christopher Barzak, The Love We Share Without Knowing) 

    Change is like breathing. It happens. You don’t need to do anything. It is a life process. If you are alive you are breathing and change. Every second.
       Since I began to write this little article all of my cells changed several time. Literally I’m a different person since I start writing.

Tranformational mask - Vancouver BC - Anthropological Museum 

   Of course you can hold your breath, for a while but in a few second you go … fiuuuuu! Change is kind of the same. You can hold, especially the change you don’t want to have, for a while, but after that again, whoahhhhhhh! It goes.

    Like human living been we are set to change a little bit every second all along our life. A kid that I was it is very different from the adult that I’m now. Different dimension, weight, tall, brain. A human body that is not changing anymore is gone, death.

Everything in me is different any moment and however it is still myself. (that is another story!, please wait for another telling)

   Now if change is like that, why we are so afraid of it? Why we spend so much time and energy to avoid that? Why every change in our life is giving us so much intense emotions, anxiety and trouble? Why is so difficult to flow in this river and enjoy the current?

Acting on the stage of life / recitare sul palcoscenico della vita

There is a lot of scientific literature comparing life to a theatre and people to actors and performers.
In the last month I was trying to make that thru, so I took acting classes. I love acting classes because they bottle up your creativity. Acting and writing seems to free something hidden deep in my mind.
Anyway,  when after two “solo performance” classes I decided to apply to a Studio Series Incubator Project and I did not know exactly what is was up to do.
It was “only” twelve minute of solo performance acting but I rehearsed and planned everything in a very professional way. I worked with a director, a mentor, a technician and a producer.
Because I worked very intensively, not so strange, I got some learning. And that is what I want to talk about.
1. In acting (in life too?) details are more important than the things we think they are important. They are the biggest part of the job. Where to put your accent or breath when saying that word, how to make that gesture, when looking at this side, which shocks to wear, what to do to keep your mouth moisturized. Acting (living) is mostly a question of thousands of little and only apparently insignificant details!
2. You can fake it until you feel it! We should value differently the idea to fake something. If you pretend to feel something for a sufficient amount of time, you’ll feel it, seriously and truthfully. And the more you rehearse the more you feel it, deep and real!. However if someone look at you rehearsing at the bust stop, while walking on the park or buying grocery… he or she, coming back home, will easily say “oh Honey, today I saw a crazy man …”.
3. Acting (living) is a strange activity where you need to be focused, prepared, very rational … and emotional. I mean on stage (and in life) you’ll be really and truly excited, tense, close to scream and at the same time, really and truly rational and concentrated.
Of course, I did my play, I got congrats, claps and compliments. I think now I’m addicted to the stage!

C'e' un'importante mole di letteratura scientifica che paragona la vita ad un teatro e le persone ad attori. Nei mesi passati ho provato a farlo per davvero. Ho preso serie lezioni da attore e scrittore, Mi piacciono le scuole di teatro perche' danno la stura alla tua creativita'. Recitare e scrivere sembrano attingere a qualcosa ben nascosto nella mia mente. Tuttavia, quando dopo due cicli di "Solo Performance" mi sono anche iscritto allo "Sudio Series Incubator", non sapevo esattamente a cosa andavo incontro. Sono stati "solo" dodici lunghi minuti di monologo, in inglese, ma mi sono preparato come un vero professionista. Mesi di prove con regista, mentore, tencici e produzione. 

Ho lavorato intensamente e quindi ho imparato due o tre cosette di cui vorrei palare:

1.    Nella recitazione (come nella vita?) i dettagli sono piu' importanti delle cose che noi pensiamo siano importanti, Sono la parte piu' importante del lavoro. Dove mettere l'accento o il respiro, quando dire quella parola, quando fare quel gesto, quando guardare da questa parte, quali calzini mettere (che si trattava di scarpe vecchie e nuove), come mantenere la salivazione!. Recitare (vivere?) sembra una questione legata a migliaia di piccoli e solo apparentement insignificanti dettagli. 

2.     Puoi fingere fino a sentirlo per davvvero! Forse dovremmo valutare in maniera diversa il "fingere" qualcosa. Cercando di fingere qualcosa per un tempo sufficientemente lungo... arriverete a provarlo, per davvero e in profondita'! E piu' si prova piu' si sente, dentro! Certo se qualcuno vi guarda mentre "parlate da solo" alla fermata del bus, camminando nel parco, o alla cassa del supermercato... Tornando a casa potrebbe dire: "Amore, sai oggi ho visto uno un po' matto!". 

3.     Recitare (vivere) e' un'attivita' molto strana nella quale devi essere focalizzato, preparato, molto razionale... e molto emotivo! Voglio dire, sullo stage (nella vita) sarete sempre molto eccitati, tesi, magari sull'orlo di una crisi emotiva e, allo stesso tempo, perfettamente razionali e concentrati.

Alli fine ho fatto la mia parte , 3 repliche appluaditissime e con molte felicitazioni e complimenti! Adesso ho un po' di nostalgia per il palco! Sara' la mia nuova dipendenza?

Masks & Life Coaching

Isn't life about building, wearing and changing Masks? I think so. Some Masks we like, some of them we hate. But be aware of that: there is no yourself (whatever you ever thought "yourself can be") because you are in all the masks you were and all the masks you will wear.

It is like an onion, just not in the sense we use the "metaphorical" onion. You know, take off the external part to discover the heart. The problem is that an onion is an onion, same smell, same consistency, same taste, from the skin to the core. Its all onion!

So maybe it is like be an actor or an actress!. Oh yes maybe that's more appropriate. A monologist, that kind of actors  or actress that write, direct and play their own "piece".

So, if that is and I believe so, other question wee need to put on the table.

How do I built my masks? When? Where did I took inspiration?

How do I make possible the change between one to another? With what emotions do I need to deal to wear  a new mask?

How could I make some new masks when the other are too consumed to be used again?

Which mask do I need to build to continue to improve myself and do what I want to do?

Some guy in Maryland did this interesting elaboration of his brain injury (follow that link).

Masks over masks what kind of fascinating perspective to understand humans!

Masks.... In Training

   With a very interesting and intense weekend I begin a new adventure. I'm a Transformational Life Coach in Training with Seattle Life Coach Training (SLCT).

   The Masks are with me in this new path. I want to use them in my job coaching for their power to transform people lives.

That's the reason of this gallery of Masks... with glasses.

We're studying!.

We're changing! trying to maintain the best of our selves.

We're looking to to have a new glaze on how we look!.

We're transforming to know how better help other to transform!.

Always with the idea that every masks we build up every day, is our own better Mask in this moment, with our resources.

So we'are studying to look at our Masks with new glasses!!!


If you are interested in complimentary Life Coach Session, in person or thru Skype, please put your email on the top right page on the Blog.

Si tienes algun interés en una sesiòn gratuita de Life Coaching, en vivo or através Skype, pon tu correo electronico en la parte alta a la derecha del Blog.

Se siete interessati ad una sessione gtratuita di Life Coaching in Skype segnalate la vostra email in alto a destra del Blog. 

C’è una maschera per la famiglia

Una per la società

Una per il lavoro

E quando stai solo

resti nessuno. (Luigi Pirandello)

"There is a mask for the family, one for the society, one for the job. But when you're alone no one remains”.

I did not know Pirandello's work so well as to criticize him. I don't know if the last sentence of this aphorism was intentionally negative or not. I do not think that the human personality is like an onion where you remove layer after layer to reach the tasty core.

First in my experience every mask we wear in every moment of our lives is just OUR, OWN mask. Every one of the thousands of masks we build accurately and with passion in our lives, are just a product of ourselves.

Maybe we build each mask with the purpose of hiding something however I believe we wear masks to reveal and show some parts of ourselves.

Social masks are just facets of our mind that we want, decide or just let others see. Sometimes those masks work perfectly together, are consistent one to another, are showing coherently what others see like a specific personality. Sometimes that's not happening, Sometimes what the others see is a magmatic material with no sense and coordination or, worse, they see a different path and characteristics. In that case people can say you are a strange person, maybe eccentric or for sure a little difficult to approach.

But still you can live perfectly well with that. But sometimes you feel that a mask is a little uncomfortable, maybe you sense and feel like with wearing a physical masks, having something heavy on your face that doesn't fit adequately.

Just in this moment, your friends can call for “yourself” maybe in the paradoxical way of “please, be Yourself! Like it would be possible for you to be other than “Yourself”.

So, who and what are your friends calling for? Who or what is that “Yourself” that they seems to know very well? And if that is “yourself” who or what are are the other “selves” that you sometimes pretend to be? A different person? State of mind or what?

I believe that each of us is just all the masks he or she is used to wear with no exception! Myself if it is a real thing, is just a like certain movies, “written, directed, produced … and acted out by this person called “Myself”.

What abilities, skills and tools needs that individual so brave to manage everything? How he or she can rest and relax one moment from this heavy duty? What is the best way to help him or her in that management project?

Masks and Music: a strictly relationship!

Masks and music probably were born the same day! When we think on the masks used by our ancestors it is easy to imagine people wearing masks, dancing in trance under the moon!

Music, melodies, songs and refrain are the most powerful emotional triggers mankind ever invented. Music has the quality to evoke the full range of human emotions and sentiments.

This power is connected with memories like when you hear an old melody from your childhood. In that case you can experience an earlier time and some of the emotions connected with the moment from the past.

But music also has a direct connection with your brain, for that we use the music in the movies to accompany some scenes and trigger specific emotions.

Since prehistory and still today native people here in US and around the world are using music to get into a trance. Trance is a different state of mind in what your body feels specific and strong emotions, maybe with hallucinations and physical changes.

Otherwise history of the music is full of good examples of the power of notes, melodies, percussion or songs. The composer of Opera comped to have women faint in theaters. Religion is another field where music is constantly present to facilitate meditation and prayers.

Music therapy is an allied of health professions. In the Bionenergetic therapy (A. Lowen) body exercises are combined with specific music. Biodanza® invented by the Chilean psychiatrist Rolando Toro is a system to work with emotions.

Additionally, we use music to keep us fit by doing “Aerobic dance”, “Jazzercise®”, “Zumba®, “Capoeira” and other disciplines.

Using music with the masks

Music plays an important role working with the masks. Music triggers emotions and facilitates public expression. We use selected songs and music from different traditions and cultures around the word! Classical music and pop/rock music, medieval music and folk music, music from movies and sacred or experimental music.

The choice of music is never casual. Every song, every note is part of the project. There is an intentional choreography with exercises, topics, goals and Masks. Music helps to trigger a specific emotion, or to establish a ritualized boundary. With music we can causes trance, induce relaxation, stimulate meditation or just accompany the deep expression of ourselves. 

Listen that music: what emotions are triggered in your mind?